Saturday, 27 September 2008 ♥ 09:30
sigh..recently got 3 things to vex abt
1st: i dunno when n duuno y i lyk this guy B..he doesnt noe it n i dun ever wan him to noe tt i m hurting so badly juz bcos i cant overcome this feeling..its been so long since i have felt this way..espcially aft pc's incident...i have been forcing myself to get rid of him but i waver...i dunno wad shld i do..i think of wad he is doin..i wonder how is he..y is he lyk tt n etc...i feel very pained cos i feel tt i m not the one for him...i m not pretty..neither slim..i m rough n i feel worthless esp when i think abt my past.......but zoe has been a really great help..she noe's how i feel n how hard i wanna overcome this feeling..we went k garden today n we had a really great time..the best part was she saw this shuai ge..really very shuai one n told me to think of tt guy if i waver..god help me..i dunno wanna wallow into this..
2nd: i dunno y but money never seems enuf..sometimes i wonder y i have no i pod, no personal laptop, no money to throughly enjoy shopping...as i finally have my own room, i wanna decorate it but it seems tt money is a real big prob..i have also becomed a person where i feel tt i have to scrimp n save juz for something i want..i have to weigh the consequences whe i purchase anything..life sucks
3rd:..yesterday..together with jing yi n yuan tat..we went to yikai house n stayed until 9..den i didnt take my dinner for tt night n i actually lyk the feeling..i have been eating very little these feel days as i dun have the appetite but i also enjoy this feeling of hunger..i noe tt wrong but i lyk it..it gives me the hope tt i can slim down..but the ultimate thing is tt i will be swimming n start jogging any time possible..i wanna change..lyk jolin n transforn into chae yeon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYLLP4T_ZQs or lee hyori http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5vQNAB_9p4..they seriously dance well n look good..sigh
