Monday, 30 June 2008 ♥ 08:21
its been mths since i posted..but this will be my last post till i change the layout..i haven been too happy since my grandma's death..its a big blow to me n i went thru a horrible time of heartache, insomia, swollen eyes due to all the crying n having a mild form of depression whereby i dun really wann meet anyone neither go out..i juz wanna coop at home n wallow n sorrow...
i really really love my grandma..she is the one tt did not despise me despite of how i look when i was juz a baby..totally unlike my grangmother(maternal)
i noe she lived a long life but i still miss her..to think of wad we can do, wad have we done tgt in S'pore..it totally breaks me down...the last picture i took of her makes me cry as i wonder y did she leave me so early..as i type this..i m crying once again..
during this time..i wanted a special person to talk to..but there was none..compared to those who currently have their other half..i feel like a loser inside n outside
my braces are in fact more complicated than it seems..i have been working to save to pay of the bills cos 957 for x rays is really too much for my family to bear n to me..my family is the most precious thing..i m really afraid tt the cost for doing n completing my braces will be too much to bear..shld i cont working..it seems tt i m having difficulties coping..yet..i cant seem to stay focus =(
Li Meng my sweetheart came back just to visit us..we had a great time tgt..i really look forward to seeing her in china..yet the demise of my loved one was still too much to bear as up till now, i cant get over it..i m feeling damn emo n i cant help it..i hate it..i want to do better to show my grandma in heaven..i really wanna succeed in life..but how? who has the answers...i hate myself
i have to admit..i m jealous of ppl tt have bf, tt are being pursued..i envy them..i always wonder when will it be me..tt encounter..sometimes i really feel depressed..not tt i really want one but y it seems so easy for everybody but it seems so far from me..y do i not even have this chance to experience? is this fair..? n again..i m being emo..
anyway..i will be working hard for now n i will find some time to change my layout..cos i think it sucks now..life sucks anyway..
