Friday, 31 August 2007 ♥ 03:32
31/8
today was so melodramatic..was supposed to be meeting some ppl but due to accidents the thing was sorta cancelled..lol..12 hrs ago was still worrying abt somethings tt is going to happen
1/9
forgot abt the physic mock exam..die la..but anyway..who cares cos i m slightly unwell..have to complete papers n CRO n atomic physic by this wk..so tired..nvm..i will work harder despite my depressed mood now..
其实一家人求的是什么？不就是一份和字吗？为什么我的家偏偏不如意？钱，我没有。样貌，身材我都不觉得我拥有。恋情也从未拥有过。甚至旅行我都没去过比马来西亚更远的国家。为什么上天就是不赐给我一些值得拥有或珍惜的事情呢？为何如此的不公平？老马还说我不够生前--我已经不要求什么了，衣服，鞋子，背包，我都不敢奢望,我只要求了这么一餐都不行吗？感觉上我似乎没有什么目的而存活下来了。若这次的考试不如意，我宁愿死了算了。反正我也没有脸面面对家人了。心理的失落感是我害怕誉为举失败。我不想再一次输给命运或任何一个人，特别是紧要关头时。老天爷，求你别再耍我了，我已经快要进步起考验了......这时的我，早已以泪洗面了...
Wednesday, 29 August 2007 ♥ 08:09
today's prelim for chem was such a let down..i feel that i have done so badly..i didnt understand the qns n 14 marks is already gone..feel so useless..why every time prelim or major test lyk that..i must ..swear n will work harder for my physics..tmr starting i will complete the annoying ac generator n logic gates with test paper chij tp 05 p2..someone pls help me..help me get out of my fear..
then today went to watch SECRET..yes..it was nice!!! super!! n i cried with iris..haha..the guy from her place laughed at us..but i still couldnt stop..it was so sad n touching..my fears in the beginning of the show were comfirmed as the end approached..the piano playing was great too..esp for me without music background..haha..suddenly wanna learn piano..lol
perhaps i m being toooo upset cos i feel lyk crying every now n then..i dun wanna wallow in self pity but it seems as if i cannot help it..how i wish i can be smarter...
Tuesday, 28 August 2007 ♥ 08:10
today is the 2nd day of prelim..n moving on to the third..i have studied hard for the past few years..yet i m really scared tt history repeats it self..if that really happens..i think i will really commit suicide cos i got no courage to face anybody
but of course, i will accept my set backs for now n sim higher..like wad leroy says..positive brianwaves..i think i can!!
break during the sept hols for me equals to more studying..will go swimming /jogging every day with my dad in the morn to adjust to a healthy lifestyle..seems that i have lost it for a long long time
sometimes i really wonder where have all our innocence gone to? i guess i have lost mine long ago..
money has never been so impt in my life..seeing the trouble n frustration my mum is going thru..i noe that for the rest of my life..i need money
lemme keep the faith now n have some confidence in myself for my maths..god bless to all tt are having exams now =)
Monday, 20 August 2007 ♥ 07:46
sigh..1 wk more to prelim yet i m sick le..so sad..must get better ..cough cough cough non stop..so tiring..ok..look on the brighter side..i can slim down =) plus no need go sch 4 2 days..tho i will mug at home..just hope tt i wont be inthis pathetic condition when i m having my prelims nxt wk..
my honey is coming home..yay..will go out with her soon..yippee..imagine all the fun but of course..not too wild or else i will be embarrassed again..
all the best to those mugging
Friday, 17 August 2007 ♥ 09:11
today was so sucky in sch cos i was sooooo sleepy..so sianz..then physics i was almost asleep..thank god for my saving grace..ECLIPSE..didnt really have time yesterday to complete the book but i have finished it n EDWARD is really damn sweet, gentleman, patient..alll the best qualities u can fing in a man..seems tt the guys tt i fancy is always starting the letter E eg: ethan n edward...haha
was kinda depressed when i went asha..cant stop thinking abt how badly i done for my oral..actually not tt bad but still..no good
sigh..no life of my own..my sweetheart is upset n i m sad..not tt i quarreled with her tho
let me make the best out of my life..
Thursday, 16 August 2007 ♥ 09:19
hehe..today started on eclipse=)soooo addictive!!but i didnt really wanted to finish so fast cos i was really tired esp during mrs chia..started on RGS paper n hell it was tough..drank avacado juice again..yummy..but i m afraid tt the blender has some problems co the live wire sort of got loose under the screw..fortunately my dad noes how to repair it
recently kinda sad with yi ou cos i feel that i dun really noe her anymore..as in we talk yes n laugh but somehow.....maybe i m being sensitive but sigh..hope tt i m just being oversensitive =)
my sweetheart is coming back..yay..hope tt we can have one nite out wild =) i will be wearing something that flaunt my assets =P..who wants to wear something tt cover them up rite?
havent been feeling very happy recently..either i get a sudden wave of depressiion attack or i ..dunno..how m i supposed to express myself??
had took a psychological test with ivy today..hehe..kinda accurate tho esp the part abt marriage n the couple n the friends, character etc..only 1 thing..how can i have 10-20 bf in the future..thats acc to the test..LOL -_-''
well if anyone is interested in the test..tag n i will ask u personally =)
Tuesday, 14 August 2007 ♥ 06:45
yay..back in s'pore=)lemme recount wad happened 4 the past few days
8/8/07: went m'sia aft the nat day celebration..was feeling faint on the way but aft consuming some food, felt much better as i looked forward to the trip in Ipoh
reached ipoh at 8 n hell..it was dark n kinda creepy but when i saw my grandma, i was over the moon..had missed her alot n was so relieved to see her safe n sound
9/8/07: was busy with AMWAY..had to register at the office then settle monetary matters..cant stand my eldest uncle tho, so worried tt we wont give him enuf money..bought AMWAY mooncakes..very nice..esp the shanghai mooncake..not too sweet n eat already still want some more..just like the wantons in ipoh-the skin is so thin yet it wraps the meat nicely in place with mouthwatering sauce locked in it!!ahhh, just the mooncake n wantons can make me intoxicated!!!some pics to show:
10/8/07: bought a few dvds..all hongkong serial =)..went to jusco today..bought 2 lingerie..all D85..lol..kinda embarrased cos went around to a few brands but dun have my size..urgh..saw ECLIPSE!!!so happy thta i almost hyperventilated..wanted to buy it asap but my dad refused so i bought for sarah instead, hope tt i can read it aft her..singapore so slow..must wait til end of mth then have
11/8/07: headed to genting..love the cool atmosphere there but totally abhorred the smokers..wanna smoke also be more considerate rite..2nd hand smoke more poisonous leh!!
12/8/07: back to singapore..slept all the way thru the journey..sky was overcast n there was haevy rain..so scary esp when my dad is speeding at 130km/h
nxt time i will buy a car that can speed to 200km/h n it is still stable..my preferred choice:benetly =)
13/8/07: reached s'pore at 2 am..so tired n by the time i slept, it was already 3 so went to sch at recess time..aft sch went to the lib n realised tt weiling had been talking nonsense abt me n yu hung..i mean cummon..i totally dun have a bf so how can yu hung be my ex bf..lol
14/8/07: from yesterday nite till now..i had be running to the toilet due to diarrhea..so horrible..went to toilet 6 times in sch n another 10 times n still counting..sick..hope that i recover soon as tmr is my o'level oral..gambate
Monday, 6 August 2007 ♥ 01:00
sad existence of my pathetic life..ok..i m stressed n frustrated cos i seriously cant handle all my tuition work n sch work..lol
i will accomplish AMWAY as my career once i hit 18..i will succeed cos i m practically a 100% user le!! i will prove it!!
gonna fast frm the tv for 5 days..will try my best tho..=)
emo now
Thursday, 2 August 2007 ♥ 06:20
lol..had fever on the last night of july so missed sch the next day which is 1 aug but recovered fast enuf tho...went lib that noon also...den there was this fren of yuhung that was friendly enuf so i started talking n oops..my cold exterior was unearthed cos i started talking soooo much..argh..sorta forgot abt work...den i saw shermaine..lyk lol...so embarrassed cos i was sitting with 2 boys which kinda seem wrong but i dun think so anyway..den sher asked me a qns which mdm lum went thru but apparently she didnt listen but obviously i dunno cos i never even go sch..so kinda felt stupid cos i couldnt handle tt qns from acs(i)..wad a sucky sch..in the end i started asking ppl around me n even called germaine but i still got confused in the end..haha..i believe the qns could be completed so i went around asking pris n ger so i got the ans..yay!!!
in the end..weiling arrived at the lib too n i finished my bukit panjang paper 1 but heck la.. aug 2 got emaths mock which is lyk today...so i couldnt sleep all nite not that i was really worried just cannot sleep so TODAY, i slept in class..so peaceful =)
today was the last lesson for skating tho i cant skate, kinda miss albert the coach cos he was humorous..haha...no other feeling 4 him tho.cummon la..he is old in my criteria so i really dun understand how can ppl be infatuated with him...lol
aft sch was mock exam..lol..it was easy tho got 1 qns got stuck...who cares...anyway aft tt stayed back 4 dance rehersal..kinda fun tho i think i cant dance well..haha
so tmr is the day of performance..good luck to 4I..we rock all the way
